A Legacy of Light

My Mom’s younger brother passed away recently after a long battle with cancer. He was a bit of a James Dean type (cutie, bad boy but with a heart of gold) and we all loved him deeply.
In my not-so-poetic attempt, I wrote a little note as I would imagine God’s conversation with my Uncle Wayne that day as the two started their new journey together.

Welcome home, my one.
Is this what you expected? Is the light too bright?
It shouldn’t be, my one. For you carried this very light with you in your previous life. Did you not even realize?
It is said, If all would seek the face of God, darkness and regret would ne’er exist.
But you, my one, You sought me your entire life, all the while carrying my light. Sometimes you called me love. Sometimes compassion. Sometimes kindness. You had many names for me. All of which I adored. Yes, I adored you so.
You sought me, and I was there.
I was there when you gave money to a friend.
I was there when you gave land to a neighbor.
I was there when you gave your time to a dozen causes that brought my heart to leap.
I was there when you cheered those who were giving up.
I was there when you stood up for and loved the addict.
I was there when you fed the hungry.
I was there when you befriended the outcast. You listened to him. You understood him. You loved him. Like I love him. Did you know you were being me?
I was there when you honored and loved your bride. When you cried with and laughed with her. I am still there with your bride like I am here with you.
I was there when you raised your children. For every good thing and good memory you gave them, I was there. They now carry the light because of you.
I was there as you encouraged and loved and helped your buddies. They know this, because they saw me in you. Some of them also have different names for me like you did. I am OK with that. They, too, will carry the light.
I was also there in your pain. In your sorrow. When you grieved. When you doubted and asked questions. And in your ugliness. It’s OK, that’s just human.
So let no one claim that you, my one, did not seek Me. It was you, in fact, one of my rare gems, who spent his entire lifetime in pursuit of me, simply and selflessly giving away to those on your path the love and uniqueness I put in you before you were ever formed.
Good living, my one. Your life lived on Earth has fulfilled its divine purpose.
Welcome home. Now let us continue to new incredible mysteries.

How I listen now

tower-circle

I just listened to the latest podcast of one of my favorite humans. And at its close, I was left still and reflective, knowing and caring for humanity a little more and connecting with the divine as though Spirit burst through my exterior and swirled through the cells of my interior, wrapping hself around and in and out of every DNA strand in my entire body. My senses still pulse from the magnificent dance!

I so appreciate how this man teaches, and more how he makes me see humanity in relation to myself.

In years past, the people I studied under might have left me feeling a bit more powerful, as though that were a good thing. I usually felt like I had learned something, and I sometimes even felt like I had risen a notch to that bar they had set. All good objectives, I suppose.

But then there’s Rob. I read or listen to him, and when he’s done talking, I’m leveled. I want more. I’m speechless. He’s not challenged me to be better than anybody. He’s not told me his thoughts on right and wrong. He simply shares the old stories and weaves humanity into them. He brings me into a journey into myself as he intertwines old and new.

Unlike the speakers of my past, when Rob Bell speaks, I’m not left feeling as though there’s a tower that I’ve climbed which allows me a sort of perch over the others in the race, but instead an enormous circle of humanity joining hands, with but one, small opening, summoning me forward.

Rob Bell makes me want to run forward and close that gap! Feeling the energy and love of inclusion! And now One. Forever One.

I choose the circle over the tower. In the circle we are eye to eye. In the circle we are heart to heart. In the circle, we are one. And our circle should never be broken. Not for religion. Not for politics. Not for hate or war or jealousy or envy or anger or unforgiveness. Not even for righteousness. Especially not for righteousness.

In the tower, there’s US and THEM. Someone is right and someone is wrong. Someone is in and someone is out. Someone is included and someone is excluded.

If the circle breaks, it repairs itself on its own inner strength. There’s an electric-like current that continuously flows in the circle because of its bonds, its strength, its source.

The tower just keeps growing a jagged monstrosity as more and more struggle to climb it, and the gap widens from ground (them) to peak (us). So when there is brokenness, most go unnoticed or ignored or written off. Unable to fix themselves, let alone others.

I love the strength of the circle. I love being one with humanity. I love calling all mankind my brothers and sisters, no matter how broken or colored or spicy or uncultured or religious or godless or unfamed or imprisoned or illiterate they happen to be.

Thanks, Rob Bell, for bringing out the best in me today. ❤

If you’re interested, you can find Rob Bell’s Pod Cast here  The RobCast.

How Will I know It’s Time?

Honey May 2014I wrote this in my journal on August 4, 2016.

I look at Honey and see her struggle to get up off the floor. To even walk and pee and poop. I see the pain she feels. I almost feel it too.

And then I have to ask myself, “is it time?” Is tomorrow the day I take her to the vet and have her guided into eternal sleep? How does one even make that decision if it’s not a quick onset instantaneous health tragedy? She can still walk – though limited. She can still eat. She still enjoys her daily walk in the neighborhood – though she now has to stop about 8 times along the way for 3 to 5 minutes each stop. Yes, our walks take a long time now.

So how does one decide when it is right?  When I make that decision for her, my life will be over as well. I can’t even describe the bond. She is my everything. She depends on me like no one else does. She loves me unconditionally like no one else does. And I love her to the core.

Lives Matter

livesmatter

I just created this graphic after scrolling through the insanity on Facebook. I am still a bit perplexed that so many humans can’t see past their own noses to get a glimpse at the cruel injustices in our world. So this is all I have to say on the matter today.

I saw a comment, made by a man I don’t know, on this meme today that kind of argued its point. And it stunned me that he didn’t get the point at all! So here is my thought process.

I hoped the picture explained itself. The picture on the right is of Hitler and his staff. The group on the left, the Jews in a Nazi camp, is obviously discriminated against, to the point of death even. And the group on the right, the very ones that can and should help them, choose instead to make the “Jewish lives matter” argument about themselves instead. Completely missing the point that the group on the left is crying out in desperation for equality (and in this case, their lives).

When blacks cry out that “black lives matter,” they are not arguing that their lives matter more than whites. Or that their lives matter to the exclusion of whites. They are simply crying out for equal ground in humanity. A fair playing field.

I can only realize the surface of the problem, because I am not black and have not lived in the black community or inside black skin. So I have no doubt it is far worse than what I see with my own eyes. But I can see enough prejudice from my perspective that allows me to make logical conclusions and thus believe the horror stories the black community is sharing.

So when I see or hear “all lives matter,” I receive that statement in love and do my best not to make that statement about me or my white race or any other race for which it was not intended. I simply offer what compassion I can, listen to the heart of the person and group whose cry it represents, and respond accordingly.

“Accepting Christ”

Excellent article about original sin. Can’t wait for the entire Christian world to realize that they are already loved, made in the image of God, and aren’t pathetic, wretched, sinners like we’ve been taught all our lives from the pulpit. This guy tells why that understanding just can’t be correct. Thanks, Jim!

“Accepting Christ”.

About Me …

5077270697_cc83239f35_zHello.

I am a freelance copy editor and content writer. I’ve assumed this role for both corporate and nonprofit worlds for many years, writing content that brought profit or propaganda for those who bankrolled my efforts. I’m not ashamed of any of my writing and editing, but I do hate that I let my voice die somewhere along the way.

So this blog is just going to be me rediscovering my voice and sharing with you, if you’ll join me. It was initially intended to be just for me, kind of a self-healing tool to apply to this new phase of life I’ve just entered. But I have a feeling what I feel and experience and eventually share might just resonate with others, at least one or two of you; and with that possibility ever so vivid, I hope to be as true with my words as possible and to help guide others along in a helpful, meaningful way.

I will write about a few topics:
Fibromyalgia and my constant quest for healing. No, this will not be me whining and telling you how crappy I feel. But more about the latest health remedies and healing alternatives I come across. Of course I can’t promise I won’t brag here and there if I lose a few pounds, push an extra hour on my bicycle ride or cut my 6-mile walk time by any significant number!

I’ll write about old fears and new personal growth. I’ll share some of my failures from the past 30 years and how I plan to overcome them as I enter my 50’s.

This is a big one for me, because it will be the most difficult; I plan to write about grace and include apologies to all sorts of people groups whom I’ve unwittingly discriminated against in my 35 years of being a Southern Baptist Evangelical Christian. I’ve decided  that God really is love. He’s only love. He loves us ALL, not just the ones who pray the right prayer or go to the right church, in the right denomination, etc. The church-forced rules of Christianity are chains that make God’s freedom gift ever illusive. God is so much easier than we make Him! So in no way will I ever preach to you, telling you what is right and wrong. I will simply share what confuses me and frustrates me, what God speaks to me, and where I see God on any given day (hint: it’s not with my nose planted in the scripture trying my best to memorize it and do everything it says to do, but rather in the picturesque sunset or the crowded, smelly line at the soup kitchen or at the animal rescue shelter). God’s essence is easily recognizable; Jesus even tells us that eternal life can be found when we look not to the scripture but to Him! (John 5:39-40)

I might, eventually, add a section on home renovation projects, big and small. But here’s the deal: I am the world’s worst at finishing a project! Even when I’m finished, I don’t feel like I’m finished, because there might be a piece of trim still missing and needed to finish off the project, but I can’t get to it because I’ve already moved on to a new project! Am I the only one who does this?

And then I will include a “random crap” category; because let’s face it, life is never orderly, and there’s no way that everything I have to say is going to fit in my nice, neat pre-constructed categories!

So thank you ever so much for spending your precious time with me. I value that tremendously and will honor and respect you and give you an authentic experience each time you visit. I would love to hear from you, so don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with me as well. Your opinions are safe here.
~Jeanie